I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
