Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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