dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
