Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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