well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
