its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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