I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
