my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
