i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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