yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
