Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize