she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
not ubering you a puppy
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
