I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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