I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Less talking, more tequila
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
