I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
