I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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