he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
