bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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