They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
