Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Your cock deserves a montage
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
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