So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
