Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
