Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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