I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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