I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
