Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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