i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
