I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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