Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
