dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
