Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
