so that wasnt chicken after all
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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