Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
handjob tips. give me some.
Are my feet made of real feet?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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