those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
