I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i think my cat just said my name.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
