Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
