actually, I'm a sock model
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize