Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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