I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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