Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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