It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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