You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
