I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
