I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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