I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
