Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
im holly from the hills drunk
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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