Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
