yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize