i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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