that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
