Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
