Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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