u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize