Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
