amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize