Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
