Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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