i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Best friends brother. Beat that.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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