How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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