I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
