but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am one with the molecules
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
