This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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