I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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