Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
