hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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